My Touch of Insanity
Throughout my late teens and early twenties, sometimes while driving, I imagined what would happen if I suddenly jolted the steering wheel right and slammed on the brakes. I could see in slow motion my car lifting, catching air, flipping on its side once, twice, three, four times before coming to a crashing halt, upside down on the median. I felt confident that my car would take out a few other cars in the process, causing a five or six-car pile-up and a huge traffic jam. I imagined this in wildly vivid detail; from the position of the car, to how I would look lying in a hospital bed to who might be speaking at my funeral. I wondered if it would kill me… and if it didn’t, how I would explain why I did such a terrible thing for no reason.
What’s Insanity, Anyways?
The most common definition of the word insane is as follows: ‘not sane; not of sound mind; mentally deranged.’ So it is just another way of saying we are not thinking right. But the truth is no one can think right all the time. Everyone must have moments of insanity to live in the world we live these days. Our insanity, individual and collective, stems from the demands of our society, the troubled world we live in, and just being human… but a little bit of insanity can be good.
When I wake up in the morning, I am immediately overwhelmed with everything I have to get done that day. I usually attempt to avoid it by sleeping longer than I should just so I don’t have to think about everything I need to do. This is super counterproductive and, according to the definition above, can be considered a little insane. But my insanity does not stop there. I get outraged during routine traffic, have panic attacks when nothing is happening, and can be caught thinking about death on the daily.
Our society these days is built for speed. Everyone must rise early and work hard for the next 40-60 years of our lives. From ridiculous driving, to sitting behind a desk for 8 hours and/or attending school for another 8 hours, to cleaning and getting dinner on the table, and all before going to bed to do it all over again the next day. We are expected to do all this without problem or complaint, but sometimes it seems like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to do it all. It’s no wonder more and more people are developing their own forms of insanity, in the shape of anxiety, depression, and even suicide. The numbers don’t lie. Our society creates insanity.
We are all a Little Insane
I was born in a troubled world. I learned tough lessons early in life and came to realize a long time ago that everyone is a little insane. Some are more insane than others, and some are crueler than others. I’ve seen how cruel people can be to themselves, to young children, to homeless veterans, to struggling mothers, to me. We have all seen the most fucked-up parts of our world, some more intimately than others. No one escapes life without at least some amount of pain at the hands of the insanity in others. But after all, it is only through experiencing pain that we can truly appreciate the beautiful pleasures of life. That is the yin and yang of life.
While the world we live in can spark insanity, the truth is we all have a little insanity inside us because we are human. Our ability to think about the past and future, instead of just living in our present and instinctual needs, inhibits our ability to be easily happy and carefree. And that’s not all. When I look up at the stars and realize how small I am and how I can die at any second because of universal events that I have absolutely no control over, I would be crazy not to feel scared or even a little insane. We are confined to our small bodies with brains that extend to the stars. Our greatest strength is also our ultimate doom to carefree (and insanity-free) happiness… Our ability to think.
A Little Insanity Goes a Long Way
It is no wonder we are all a bit insane, but a little bit of insanity can go a long way. Roman philosopher Seneca once said, “There is no great genius without a tincture of madness.” Many of the most successful people were once considered crazy before anyone knew who they were. Their radical ideas eventually became common knowledge, but the journeys were not easy.
Sir Isaac Newton was known to work for days on end in a manic state, refusing to eat or sleep, and even going into rage attacks before falling into deep depression and even experiencing hallucinations and speaking to imaginary people.
Nikola Tesla had an intense phobia of germs and would often do tasks in multiples of three
Kurt Cobain suffered from extreme anxiety, depression, and drug addiction, and was missing for six days before his body was found with a self-inflicted gun wound.
Aside from creating the Pythagorean theory, Pythagoras also founded his own religion which had two primary tenets: souls are reincarnated, and beans are evil.
Michelangelo rarely bathed, rarely even changed his clothes, struggled with social interactions, and worked obsessively. Some say these were symptoms of Autism.
Look up anyone that society deems to be a genius and you will find stories of weird quirks, mental illness, and extreme thoughts you never knew existed.
I am a little bit insane. But so are you. I know the guy driving the pick-up truck next to me cursing out the car in front of him must be pretty insane too, or at least feeling insane right now. However, he is not using his insanity to be better. He is not channeling it through the right channels, but no one can always channel their craziness correctly. The fact is we all flip out over trivial things and insanely scream at loved ones out of frustration sometimes. What we consider to be healthy and unhealthy, normal and insane, often depends on the culture and time we live.
Once I stopped trying to step on my insanity, I stopped imagining intense car crashes on the highway. Instead of fighting what makes you different, choose to embrace it in all the best ways. Use your insanity to keep your head up in this crazy world, without judging others’ insanity or fearing judgment from others in return. You will be surprised how far a little insanity can go.
