Watching Mental Health Episode 6 | Carmen Adams

This is a transcript of Watching Mental Health Episode 6 with Carmen Adams which you can watch and listen to here:

Katie Waecther: Oh, hi everyone. So today Carmen is on with us, but I'm going to go ahead and introduce her before I officially have you say anything. So Carmen is a registered herbalist. She's a certified holistic nutritionist. She's an ordained minister and she's amazing. And through her business Energy Med group, Carmen educates individuals interested in learning the practical application of herbs of food as medicine and of divinity coaching. And her holistic wellness concepts are based on science and research, which I love personally, and also expert analysis across many different healthcare modalities. So she really uses that holistic approach and her services are made for people who want to stop the sickness marathon and to start improving their quality of life. And so today we're going to be talking all about herbalism nutrition, how it impacts mental health. We're going to learn a little bit more about ordained ministry, which I'm super interested in, and really just why it's important to listen to your body in order to achieve optimal mental health. And so I'm so grateful to have you on with me today, Carmen. I am a previous client of yours, and so I know I can attest to how great your services are and how really knowledgeable you are, and so I'm just so grateful that you're on. Thank you for joining me.

Carmen Adams: You're very, very, very welcome. Thank you for having me. I definitely appreciate it. I look forward to sharing my thought process and not only how it'll help clients, but how it shows up in my everyday life.

Katie: Yeah, absolutely. Tell us a little, I know I gave a little bit of an intro, but tell us a little bit about who you are in your own words.

Carmen: Yes. So I am a registered herbalist through the American Herbalists Guild. I'm also a certified holistic nutritionist and yes, an ordained minister or spiritual teacher. So as a registered herbalist, I teach my clients or mentees practical applications of herbalism or incorporating herbs into their everyday life. For example, I teach them how to beyond the herb, it's more to a healing journey than drinking a tea or taking some type of tincture or an elixir. What do you do if or when that does not work or that's not enough? For example, high stress environments can accentuate or make a dis-ease worse. So if you're just simply taking a calming tincture, but you're not getting to the root of the stressor, that's only half the battle. And being newly diagnosed with ADHD at the tender age of 34 at the time, my life makes more sense why I burned out so often in the past three to five years.

Katie: Yeah, that's really interesting that you mentioned that just jumped straight into it. So tell us a little bit more about why mental health matters to you and maybe why that diagnosis was so impactful for you.

Carmen: Beautiful. So I'll start with why the diagnosis was so impactful. I don't need an excuse, but it helps me help myself. I like to tell people I got the cheat code to Carmen. I know that I am forgetful. It is okay. The biggest thing was I kept forgetting that I was forgetful. So that in itself allowed me to put in systems that were flexible, but structured at the same time. I didn't know what I was up against. All I knew is I had well intentions and sometimes those actions weren't matching. And as an integral person, I had to do the introspection. I had to reach out through therapy, psychiatrists, what's going on. I even looked into nutrient deficiencies because I understand how nutrient deficiencies can exacerbate brain fog and so on and so forth. So it's like, okay, I've been a vegetarian for X amount of years.

Maybe I'm experiencing B vitamin deficiencies, which is making the forgetfulness more prone. I would forget I had appointments that were on my schedule because I would forget to look at the schedule. So enough of that repetitive action and being an introspective person helped me see, I may not be the only person that's experiencing this to this level or the only person undiagnosed seeing the different areas of their lives that's being negatively impacted there. I can do the stretches, I can drink the herbal teas, but if I don't know how I'm wired, I am skating up ice hill.

Katie: Yeah, absolutely. And I love what you said about how this diagnosis wasn't meant to give you an excuse. It was meant to help you understand yourself, and so that way you can take the right steps for you to succeed, which is different for everybody. And so that's just such a healthy approach to getting a diagnosis that for some people can be really scary, I think.

Carmen: Yeah, it helped me make, Yeah, 34 made me make sense. I looked back and I was like, at first I kind of gaslit myself. I was like, you think they're right? But you did so well in school then I thought school was my hyperfocus. Makes a lot of sense. And then I think of, huh, yeah, sensory or safe foods or all of the different things, it just made sense. So now that I make more sense to me, not only am I not spending my time translating my intentions or my spirit to others, I'm finding structure so that I may honor my word. I'm finding structure, so I'm less likely to burn out and cancel plans and so on and so forth.

Katie: Yeah, absolutely. And that's so interesting because the way ADHD shows up in men versus women biologically is different. And so as a kid you see the little boy running around and you think, oh, he's ADHD, but nobody's paying attention to the girl who's sitting in the classroom and hyper-focused and maybe is getting good grades, but is also ADHD. And so I can see why it took so long for you to figure it out, because I feel like that's probably true for a lot of females. With ADHD,

Carmen: I was a master at masking, and I've also learned certain, I wouldn't say personalities, but I knew I was a chameleon. I also knew when certain people wanted certain versions of me, so I would strategically be available or not available depending on the situation. Because whenever I was unmasked, I was often asked What's wrong? I'm just simply not carrying the energy of the room. There's nothing wrong with me. I just don't want to talk. I have nothing to contribute. That's been, I think, possibly the newest change to those around me as I may be more quiet or less unsolicited advice.

Katie: That's so interesting how you've evolved since you've come to understand yourself a little bit more. And because you are so introspective, I'm sure it's been years of this evolution. So let's bring it back to professional, to your career and your expertise in your industry and talk about mental health in that way. So when you maybe sit down with a client, why is it so important to consider not only their physical health, but maybe what their mental health symptoms or their mental health experiences are as well?

Carmen: Routine. So the herbs and supplements don't work through osmosis. Are you going to take them, and it's not to say they don't want to take them. Is it within their structured flexibility? Are they going to take the am and PM dose or are they constantly forgetting the PM dose, therefore there are other things that or that I can teach them? So that would be one of the biggest things. Also their inner dialogue. So if constantly beating themselves up, that in itself is a stressor and the body is needing to deal with that. So again, you can take, drink all the unnerving, calming herbs that you want, but if you are your worst critic day in and day out, that is something that should be addressed. So if it's not talking to someone like myself that teaches more of from a trauma-informed inclusive place, but also law of attraction or art of allowing, I'll meet the individual where they are. If they're more of a religious person, however, the biggest thing is how are you talking to yourself and where do we grow from there? Is that helping your journey or is that hindering your journey? Or maybe they would benefit from something like talk therapy therapists or psychotherapists. I network with other specialists as well because there are many things that are outside of my scope. I might just be the one to plant the seed that they need that safe space to continue processing.

Katie: Totally, totally. And I remember when I was working with you, I think that I was having a big inner dialogue struggle because you did recommend me to work with an emotion coach that we both personally know. And it was something I hadn't necessarily been thinking of in the same way until you kind of put it in my mind saying, it's not just your emotions here that are being impacted by this inner dialogue, by these mental health challenges you're experiencing, but it's your body. You're falling apart. I'm sure you didn't say it like that, but that's kind of how I was. I'm falling apart because my mind is, and even now today has been kind of a challenging day, and so my body is feeling that, right? And so it was just so important to me and powerful for me that when we work together that you did recognize that and that you did want me to also work with somebody else and that you and person worked in tandem and that you discussed confidentially kind of where I was at and what might be helpful from an herb perspective as well as from an emotion perspective.

So I love that.

Carmen: Beautiful. I can speak from a personal perspective when it comes from mental health, depending on my appetite, if I am overwhelmed, my appetite is nowhere in sight. I keep that in mind when I'm speaking to someone that's like, what can I take to increase my appetite? My conversation may start at mental wellness before we get to something physical. Does that make sense?

Katie: Yeah, absolutely. Because the same way, if I'm really stressed out, I'm not going to eat as much. My appetite really goes down. And then there are people on the other side of that that they'll stress eat because they don't know what else to do. And so it's challenges both ways for sure.

Carmen: Or I consciously don't lean into it, but as a, that typically don't eat sweets, I found that if I allow myself to lean in, I'll find a reason to go to my favorite ice cream parlor to get my favorite ice cream that they sell there. And then one week I went three times in one week. One day it was back to back and then two days later. But that action in itself also what it did to my digestive system, allowed me to see I was self-soothing. So that also gives me compassion and empathy for others that may self-soothe with food as well, or if maybe they have insatiable hunger that maybe some type of lectin resistance or something. So there's many ways to peel a banana when it comes to a holistic approach. The biggest thing is meeting the person where they are,

Katie: Right? Absolutely. Yeah. Meeting them where they are and like you're saying, if something isn't working because I'm not taking it, okay, let's talk about that. Let's try to get through that. Maybe there's a different way we can introduce this. Maybe you're not good with teas, but you like tinctures, whatever it may be, you're very open in your approach, which I think is super important when you take this holistic approach with people who maybe are experiencing years and years of not feeling good.

Carmen: For example, if forgetfulness and staying on routine is an issue, I practice personally setting alarms, but also if it's not in my schedule, I'm not going to do it. So things that should be daily, why create more work for myself? Because I can also become decision fatigued. I've learned that about myself. The diagnosis helped me learn that about myself. I learned more and more about what do people with ADHD typically experience. And then obviously speaking to my healthcare support team helped paint a picture, but it was my further and research outside of those appointments. And then again, the introspection and then the application, holding myself accountable, but not feeling guilty along the way.

Katie: Exactly, yeah, having that every day is a new opportunity to get up and try again, and that's okay. Okay. So this is probably going to be an, it depends answer, but I'm going to ask it anyways. So as a professional in your field, and if somebody were to come in maybe struggling with mental health challenges as well as their, whatever's bringing them to you, that constant battle of sickness and fatigue, what does treatment look like to you? What does your approach to treatment look like? I know you kind of touched on it a little bit, but maybe explain a little bit more about your approach to it.

Carmen: So I would say it's broken up into mind, body, and spirit. So I want to analyze their inner dialogue and things of that nature. How are their relationships with the body? There's many ways to view that. So have they done lab work? Are they willing to do lab work? Are they willing to provide that information? All of that is helpful. What are they currently experiencing on the physical side? Do they have a primary care physician? Are they currently diagnosed with something? So it's gathering information. Then you want to know what has the person tried? How long did they try? Did they analyze the brands that they were using? Did they work with someone educated so that the dosing strategy was optimal? How did they measure their success? Was it repeating labs? Was it just the symptom went away? What took place? So it's gathering the information, so now I know what you've done, what has worked, what has not worked.

I can then teach what I would do in those particular situations or what I've personally done or what I've taught someone else. So it definitely is still a depends answer, but I can go a little bit deeper. If a person say, is newly diagnosed with high cholesterol, they're someone that doesn't want to take a medication for whatever reason and they're advocating for themselves and they want to try something natural, then I want to know how high is high? How long are you willing to try protocol? What method of administration are you willing to do? Is it a capsule, is it a tea or a tincture? Are you willing or have the budget for complimentary therapies like far infrared saunas and things, or do you go to a gym or So again, you want, there are many entry points to healing. So when it comes to meeting a person where they are, it's learning about them hearing their story and then sharing and being conscientious of not projecting onto them as well.

Katie: Yeah, definitely. Then not projecting our own biases. So that brings me to a good question actually, which is something I like to ask most of my guests, which is when it comes to mental health challenges or mental health diagnoses that somebody may be coming to you with, do you think that that's something that they need to learn to live with, that their brain is wired that way as perhaps our brains are wired differently? Or do you think that it's something that they can overcome and that they can get better and not have to worry about in the future? Or is it somewhere in the middle?

Carmen: Great question. From a personal perspective, someone again, newly diagnosed with the ADHD and seeing how it's always been there and how it shows up daily, I find that I am coping better and I am giving myself more time to rest. So long story short, I don't think it just goes away. We are who we are. We got to this point because we got to this point. I see that certain things may be a coping mechanism from childhood trauma that morphed into whatever. That's not really my lane, but I can say from a personal perspective, it has always been there. Now that I do, the hindsight is 2020, each day I wake up, I still desire the alarms, I still desire the flexibility in my structure. I still desire to work as an entrepreneur, but not a nine to five. I am wired this way and this is how I thrive. So I would feel if I were to work against myself, I would be back in that place where I was not thriving. So I don't think it goes away. I just think it's taught me how to be my best self. And now I like to say my favorite self because my favorite self is unmasked and I'm selective with whom I share that version of me with because I am more sensitive in that state. Does that make sense? Yeah,

Katie: It does make sense. And I think that I agree in many ways. I, for example, have anxiety. I've carried it with me for a long time. Maybe it's something that one day I can let go, but the way that I approach it is that I'm more forgiving with myself. I give myself more time to rest. I am kinder with myself. If I have to go out into a social situation or if I had a really big week with a lot of stuff, I know that the following week I'm going to take a few naps and it's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay with that. But then that leads me to my next question because you also, a lot of what you do is approaching that, those physical symptoms that people are coming to you with that maybe you've had them for a long time, maybe even autoimmune symptoms. Do you feel the same way when it comes to physical conditions that's something that maybe somebody has to just learn to live with, or is it something that they can get over or does it depend on the condition?

Carmen: I would definitely say it depends on the condition. I've seen individuals with high cholesterol with no other genetic predisposition to it, do a holistic protocol. The numbers change and they're able to maintain that. I've seen individuals are genetically predisposed to making more cholesterol, therefore for them to lessen their risk for cardiac events, they choose a pharmaceutical or they choose to routinely take a higher dose holistic approach to something because just because it's natural doesn't mean you can take it for forever. Too much of a good thing can pose issues, but I would say it would depend. I would lean heavier on the physical having more remedies than the mental just completely being cured, simply because there's so many different layers to it that are out of our control. And until we are able to trust the process, truly those things out of our control can still impact us.

For example, sometimes listening to the news is stressful to individuals, and that adds to the stress. And then you add in the fact that they've been in pain for the past five years and they're stressed about that, and then now they can't work and now the bills are piling up. So again, you got to meet the person where they are and there is a hierarchy to healing. I feel. For example, there's one thing to consume something, it's another thing to actually assimilate or absorb it. So sometimes that's the foundation. It's not always a cleanse, but maybe that's the foundation. And sometimes I don't speak to a client about an herb or supplement until three sessions in because it was the inner dialogue. It was the mindset that is where they grew the upset stomach or the diarrhea or the abdominal pain that they were experiencing because they felt their anxiety physically. They no longer experience that, or they have thet that helps them calm down, and then they do the affirmations that helps lessen the tightness that they feel in their chest. So it really does depend on the person. So I don't teach absolutes simply because you are leaving someone out. I do teach foundational truths that you can build on, but everyone is coming from a different perspective, and our perspective is what shapes our viewpoint on reality.

Katie: Absolutely. Yeah. So talk to me a little bit more about how you include ordained ministry and that coaching aspect that you do with your services and what is ordained ministry? Let's just start there.

Carmen: Well, okay, so that's tiered. It depends on whether it's coming from a religious standpoint. People can go through their churches and become ordained and things of that nature. I went a different route through a church or whatnot, but I don't teach based on say the Bible or the Quran or anything of that nature. I meet the person where they are based on their spiritual beliefs. So if it's based in Christianity or Catholicism or Judaism, I want to learn what it is that they hold near and dear to them. And then I teach them ways in which they can choose to view that whenever they are out of alignment, other people don't follow manmade religion, so they follow our art of attraction, or I'm sorry, law of attraction or the art of allowing. So I talk more about trusting the process, staying in the present moment. You can't change yesterday and worrying about tomorrow is a waste of creativity. While I understand prevention and being prepared, is it helping you in this point? So again, it's still one of those meeting the person where they are, but it is based on their connection to source. No matter how they choose to connect, whether it's through a religion or otherwise,

Katie: That's beautiful, inclusive. That's so beautiful. And especially now, there's so much division and there just doesn't need to be. And so I think that's beautiful that you're able to take anybody who maybe is coming in who maybe is very religious or who is more maybe spiritual and maybe they're still just figuring it out and still apply these principles.

Carmen: Yeah, definitely. Because whenever we feel isolated or alone or the person feels isolated or alone, I like to understand what is their connection to source, what does that look like? That may help me find another way to coach them or inspire them or give them another viewpoint or something because it's a place where we draw strength from. And if they don't have that, maybe they don't believe in anything. Then there's usually some other thought that is on the table. And if there isn't, maybe I'm not the right person. Maybe what I've grown through and what I've taught other people may just simply not apply. And I respect that as well.

Katie: Sure, yeah. We can all be perfect for everyone. But I mean, I like that you're saying that maybe there's a thought that we can grab onto and a thought that we can run with, even if it's not the whole shebang, it's something small. And I think that's true in anything, right? Just a little bit of hope. When somebody comes to you who's experiencing years of pain, they're tired of being on the medication rollercoaster, they don't know what to do, and they come to you in some ways maybe as a last resort, and it's that little string of hope that's bringing them to you that I think you're able to grab onto.

Carmen: Yes, that is what I'm assessing. I'm not here to make you, I'm here to walk alongside you. And the biggest compliment is when you no longer need me, you know how to find me or where to reach me. But when you no longer need me, that's great. That makes my heart smile.

Katie: Yeah, I remember you telling me that and that's beautiful. And then I can come to you anytime. I'm feeling sick, I'm having ache. I know I've come to you for a few things and you're very responsive. Alright, so we have just a few minutes left, but I wanted to make sure that I asked this question about self-care because we've talked about it a little bit throughout and about how you're now more forgiving and compassionate with yourself. This job that you do, I think is challenging. You are dealing with people who are coming in maybe not in the best state of mind. They're very frustrated. It's important that you are not pouring from an empty cup saying. And so talk to me a little bit about what self-care means to you and what you do for self-care.

Carmen: Beautiful. So self-care means not seeing eight to 12 people a day. That means I accept three max five, and on some days it's just going to be three. It's also being comfortable with taking naps. And if it's not every day, it's definitely every other day I need more sleep. I am a happier human with more sleep. Again, I don't do things out of obligation. It's either 100% yes or it's a no. Some things within being an adult, I understand you have to do, have to do. But things that I do have control over, if it's not a hundred percent yes, then it is a no. So self-care looks a lot like showing myself grace, giving myself room, allowing myself to make a mistake and allowing myself to ask for help and not beating myself up along the way. That's the key point. I can be wrong, but I don't have to beat myself up simply because I was wrong. I'm already dedicated to personal development and growth. I don't have to be upset that I'm on this journey of personal development and growth. So sleep and setting alarms to eat. So

Katie: I love that. So you're doing what matters to you and what works for you and yeah, I'm the same way. Sleep. I'm a better, happier person when I sleep. If I can get a nap in at least once a week, I'm better for it every other day. Yeah, I'll take naps every other day. Absolutely. And so I think that's so important to do what works for you and to not push yourself. We are in such a hustle world where everybody is like, go, go, go. How many meetings can I fit in a day? I think personally since the pandemic, we've gone from in-person meetings to now virtual meetings, which makes back to back to back to back to back. Literally. You can get sucked into that, which is so hard, I think, on our nervous system and our bodies to be sitting for so long. So that self-care is just so important.

Carmen: Agree.

Katie: Well, we have just a couple minutes left. And again, I just want to thank you for your time. And so in the last minute here really just I want to ask you one final kind of question, just maybe your message to somebody who maybe has been experiencing a lot of physical pain and also now a lot of mental health pain and maybe just some, not advice, but maybe just some quick tips that you can give somebody out there who's struggling right now.

Carmen: I would say it starts with you make the decision that you want to feel differently and then make the decision that I'm going to make the next logical step. Don't beat yourself up along the way and be open to asking for help. Start with drinking enough water each day, eating things that you believe are nourishing. Do research, Google, we have it at our fingertips. Stretch daily, move your body. But the biggest thing is start somewhere and reach out if you feel like you want someone to guide you.

Katie: Yes, absolutely. We are our own biggest advocates, and so we need to do that. And I think taking action is what that is. And even if you dunno what that action looks like, it's starting somewhere. Like you're saying, taking that next step forward and asking for help. It's okay. It's okay. We all need it sometimes.

Carmen: Yes, agreed.

Katie: Well, thank you so much. We're right at time. I just love this conversation. I feel like I learned a lot and I am just really grateful for your perspective and I'd love to have you back anytime. But thank you for joining me today and for anybody out there, join us next time. We are here every first and third Wednesday of the month live. And then you can also see all of my episodes on Spotify and on my website, katie rose wecter.com. And Carmen, let us know what is a good way to get ahold of you for anybody out there who wants to get ahold of you.

Carmen: Yes. My website is energy med group.com. That's spelled I-N-N-E-R-G-Y-M-E-D group, GROU p.com. And my office number is six seven seven five one one nine. You may call or text that line as well.

Katie: All right. Thank you so much and thank you again for joining us and we will see you all next time.